I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
being pregnant is like rehab
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
