I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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