tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
This baby is an asshole
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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