he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
