I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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