i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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