he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
