Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I smell stomach acid.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
