white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
