Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
