We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
