He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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