Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
send nudes
from the living room?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
