Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
