Cold hands, warm shart.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
