you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
