remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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