I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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