I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
