wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
