this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
