After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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