i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
