Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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