paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
