we have officially lost it.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
