So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
