she was so not down for the gang bang
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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