we're blogging at a bar
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
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