Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
