yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize