It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Randomize
