He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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