every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
