are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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