also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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