U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
So many bounce houses so little time
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
