no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
