I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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