so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
