i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
i've created a new STD.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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