Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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