This is not my ceiling
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
