i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
be right there i have to get my cape
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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