This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
