Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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