Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Be still, my beating vagina.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
