And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
be right there i have to get my cape
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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