the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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