Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Drunk is not a location!
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
