i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
We left the knife in your bed.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
