There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
