hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
