Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
i am craving dick and cupcakes
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
