His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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