Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
The air taste purple.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
