i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
