I want to stick my p in your. b.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
