god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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