My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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